From The Fishbowl

Scribbles about stuff

Archive for the month “October, 2011”


Dreams have always interested me. I think it’s because you can’t understand them. They’re something ethereal; fantastic. You can’t touch them, even though they come out of your own mind. They really have no right to exist. If you had a choice, you would tailor a dream to your requirements, right? So why doesn’t that happen? Why does the brain feel the need to express itself in ways that are so…random?

I still remember quite a few dreams that I had as a child. The most memorable goes like this. When I was in Year 2 (so that’s, what, age 7ish I guess), I dreamed that at school we got to make our own t-shirts. Which we did actually get to do in Year 6, and I knew that at the time – there’s definitely a connection there. But in my dream, they weren’t just t-shirts. They were internal t-shirts. T-shirts that were under the skin and could be seen through the flesh. Kind of like a tattoo, I suppose. The only way these t-shirts could be worn was by following a very simple process.

The teachers would chop our heads off.

Then, in the 11 seconds that the head is still concious (I think I read something at the time that gave me that figure, it was probably a Horrible Histories about the French Revolution), they would very quickly insert the t-shirts and then re-attach the head. I saw this happen to a couple of classmates, and then it was my turn.

I put my head on the chopping block.

The axe came down.

And then I woke up. Obviously.

You always wake up when you feel pain in a dream, which is one thing that always annoyed me a bit about The Matrix (I know that’s not dreaming, but it’s close enough, damn it). Actually, there’s a lot that annoyed me about The Matrix, but it’s probably not best to dwell.

My mum used to have a recurring dream about spiders. It scared the shit out of her – I think it basically involved her being chased by a gigantic one. The funny thing is, though, that she hasn’t had it for eight years – when we moved into our current house. Which I still find really freaky.

Anyway, I bring all this up because I’ve been having a recurring dream recently, and a weird one at that. I’ve had it twice in the past three nights. It’s slightly different the second time around, but the theme is more-or-less the same. Actually, God, I’ve just realised, I had another similar one a couple of weeks back too.

Basically, I go to a theme park with some people. I don’t know who they are, but they’re certainly not family or friends. The theme park is abandoned. There are cobwebs and overgrown grass and shrubs everywhere. All the rides are rusted and boarded up. Kind of post-apocalyptic, I guess.

And I just walk around it. That’s all the dream is. Me and a couple of strangers walking around an abandoned amusement park, looking at things and having inane conversations about the weather and what the hell those coloured stones are meant to be. And then, after what feels like half an hour or so, I wake up.

For all I know, I’ve had the same dream hundreds of times and just forgotten. I find that people only really tend to remember dreams that happen just before they awake. There’s probably a reason for that, but I don’t really care, to be honest. It’s still interesting, though.

I decided today to do a quick look around and see what this said about me. This is what I’ve found:

“To see or be in an amusement park in your dream indicates that you need to set some time for more relaxation and enjoyment in your life. The rides, booths and elements in the amusement park are an expression of some aspect of yourself or some area in your life. Look up the symbolism of specific rides for more details. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you are too easily distracted lately.

To dream that the amusement park is empty or abandoned suggests that you need to open yourself to more fun and adventure.

To dream that the rides at the amusement park are breaking down means that something in your life is not going as expected.

To dream that the amusement park is closed suggests that you are denying yourself your time for fun and leisure. You need a break”

I should probably correctly attribute that, but I found it on my lunch and just emailed it to myself and forgot to add a link. Cool story, bro. I’m sure it was from this site though.

So I apparently need to ‘open myself to more fun and adventure’ or something. If it’s even true and it actually means anything. I guess I probably do. But then again, I oddly quite like this dream. It’s just sort of…I don’t know. It feels like something only I could dream about. Clearly that’s not true, but I’d like to think that.

Maybe it does mean something significant. Maybe my brain’s trying to tell me something. Something profound that could have a long-lasting effect on my life.

Or I could be eating too many Mini Cheddars before bed. Either or.


In Exile


I’m bored and have nothing to do so I thought I might as well make a blog post and see what comes out of the end of my fingers and winds up on my iPad’s screen.

I’m in exile, you see. Ordinarily I spend my evenings in my bedroom, usually either surfing the interwebs (and occasionally doing something a little bit productive while I’m at it) or playing some sort of video game (game of the moment: Madden NFL 12, despite its general averageness).

Except on a Tuesday. Or sometimes a Wednesday.

Because on those days, European football takes over my room.

My dad goes in there to watch the week’s Champions League matches, a hobby that no-one else in the house is really that interested in.

As such, my mum doesn’t like him watching it on the main TV in the living room (it classes with Holby City), and I bear the brunt by having to evacuate or DIE. Well, not really.

Frankly, the Champions League and Holby City hold about the same level of interest for me. Which is approximately 0.01% (especially since the cute redheaded nurse was killed off a few months back). Which is why I’m writing this blog. Good, innit? Except now my iPad is starting to run out of juice so I’m probably just going to have to watch Holby. Great!

Oh well.

Before I do though, I might as well mention that I’m going to be entering NaNoWrimo again this year. Yes, I’m going to be attempting to write a fifty thousand word novel in thirty days. Again. I must be mental. Hopefully this year I might make something, y’know, readable. Stay tuned for updates.

Bye then.

I’m Terrible At Blogging

I really am.

I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to start a blog, but every single time it has failed. I think it’s mostly because I can’t make my mind up about what to write most of the time. Should I be more serious? Should I try to be funny? Should I keep everything to a particular theme? Every time I come upon those questions, and every time I simply cannot answer them. So I can’t promise that this time will be different; that would be foolhardy. But, y’know, it might be fun.

So hi.

I will probably make an ‘About’ page with this kind of thing in it, but I’m just going to talk about myself and some of the stuff I might like to write about on here.

Interests, then. I really like writing. Fiction, I mean. If you already know me, you’ll probably know that. I’m probably not all that good at it, to be honest, but it’s the one thing that I’ve always enjoyed and felt that it could be the right direction for me. But man, it’s hard. Almost as hard as blogging. I might put bits about that on here sometimes, maybe some short stories, maybe some plugs about stuff I’ve written, that sort of thing.

But I do have plenty of other interests. Many of them involve sitting in front of a TV like a loner. Which I am, but that’s another story…

I’m a big gamer. Have been since I was about 4 and my dad bought me a Game Boy. That was pretty awesome. Then I went on to the SNES and quickly realised that I was a Nintendo fanboy. This continued until I got to about 13 and I finally went to the ‘dark side’ (I genuinely used to call it that) and bought a PS2. Since then I’ve owned every big console, and long may that tradition continue.

I love films and TV shows as well. Sci-fi is my bag, but if something’s good then I’ll like it. I might put a few reviews of stuff on here, I’ve always been interested in that sort of thing.

If you haven’t gathered, I’m a huge geek, and frankly I don’t care. I even play Dungeons and Dragons on a pretty regular basis. Not so much any more, admittedly, but I still love it. It combines pretty much all my other interests – writing, gaming and junk food all combined into one blissful Sunday afternoon. How can you say no?

I’m quite a big fan of music, too. But not live music. Truly, I could think of little worse. I know that probably seems weird, but just the thought of being in the crowd of a live music event makes me cringe just a little bit. Live albums? Great. Actually being there? I think I would vomit. I don’t cope well with crowds at all. I hate parties. I’m generally happiest in my own company (although I do have some of the best friends in the world).

Anyway, rock music is my main interest. Among my favourite bands: The Beatles and Green Day on the more mainstream side, Coheed and Cambria and Sleigh Bells on the ‘who the fuck are they?!’ side. But I like a lot of other stuff as well. I think I am yet to find a musical genre in which there is not a single song I like.

Sports are traditionally not my thing. Apart from one season, from late 2009-early 2010 (purely because that year I bought my one and only edition of FIFA), I have typically had little to no interest in football, depsite every male in my family being a little bit obsessed with either Manchester United or Liverpool. Tennis I’m a casual fan of, but usually it peaks when Wimbledon’s on and I don’t follow it all that much for the rest of the year.

Recently, though, I’ve been getting quite heavily into American Football. Y’know, the one with the helmets and egg-shaped balls. It’s well good. I think I love its inherent binary opposition – it’s basically a chess match. A chess matched played out by BIG SWEATY MEN HITTING EACH OTHER VERY HARD IN THE FACE. And there’s absolutely nothing homoerotic about that last sentence, right? Cool. But please don’t call it a wimpy version of rugby or that it has no right to be called ‘football’. I might actually blog about that in the not-too-distant future, it really irritates me.

There’s other stuff I like as well, obviously. I’ll dip into a bit of everything now and then, when I feel like it.

One last thing – you might be wondering what the title and URL of this blog all means. About 20 people might get it/remember. Everyone else will just have to guess or make up their own custom answer.

I might try and blog something properly tomorrow. I’ll see. Thank you for sticking with me so far. Ta 🙂


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