He understood now why people waited.
As Tonyâs toes sat a little over the void, he felt his body rock back and forth with the wind. He wanted to reach out and grab hold of something, but there was nothing but air to support him. He looked straight ahead, not daring to glimpse the road below, and thought of why he was doing this. Taking such a permanent step. He thoughtâŠ
âExcuse me,â said a voice from behind him. It almost made Tony lose his footing right away. âOh, Iâm sorry,â the voice said again. âI didnât mean to make you jump.â A beat. âProbably a poor choice of wordsâŠâ Tony looked over his shoulder and saw the embodiment of the voice. It was a man, young, dressed in a sharp suit.
âAâŠare you the police?â said Tony.
âOh my, no. Just someone who wants to help you. You certainly appear to be in dire need of some assistance.â
âI donât need anyoneâs help,â said Tony. He was much more confident now that the initial shock of no longer being alone had faded. âJust let me die in peace.â
âPeace? You think jumping from a 30-storey building would be a peaceful death?â The man started walking towards the edge.
âDonât come any further!â
âWhy not? Youâre not going to jump anyway.â
âI will if you come closer!â
âNah,â said the man. He carried on walking, and sat down on the ledge next to Tony. âSee? Youâre still here, and Iâm just sat here next to you. Lovely day, isnât it? Would you like a jam sandwich?â
âIâŠwhat?â The man produced a small plastic bag from his pocket. Two triangular jam sandwiches were inside.
âI made them myself this morning. Itâs so hard to find cafĂ©s that sell them. Iâm not really keen on sandwich fillings that arenât jam. Iâm sure Pret or Subway would get a lot more business if they just made a few every day.â
âWho the hell are you?â said Tony.
âIâm Hank, and you didnât answer my question.â
âWhatâŠno, I donât want a bloody jam sandwich, OK?! Just leave me alone!â
âIâm afraid I canât do that. Youâre not meant to die, you see. Not today, anyway. I mean, it seems pretty clear to me that youâre not going to anyway, so I probably donât need to be here, but, yâknow, itâs good etiquette.â He took one of the triangles out of the bag and had a huge bite. âMmm,â he said, with his mouth full. âThatâs a good sandwich. Are you sure I canât tempt you?â
Tony didnât answer. The pair were silent for a moment. âSo what brings you here?â said Hank.
âNone of your business.â
âI know it isnât. But Iâm curious. I mean, a man doesnât just wake up one morning and say to himself, âYâknow, I think Iâm going to throw myself off a building today. That seems like a fun way to get my morning going.ââ
âDo you think this is some sort of joke?!â said Tony.
âNot at all. Iâm sure youâre deadly serious. I justâŠâ
âNo, I know what youâre doing. Youâre stalling. Yeah. You saw me up here and phoned the police and youâre trying to stop me from jumping for just long enough until they arrive.â
Hank smiled. âThis isnât Lethal Weapon, my friend. Have you looked down? I wouldnât recommend it, but I can assure you that there arenât hundreds of rubberneckers staring into the sky while the assembled police force rapidly inflate a gigantic air cushion. Besides, I look nothing like Mel Gibson.â
Tony had had enough. He lifted his right foot and held it over the edge. There was a light breeze which made him wobble like a dashboard toy. âAh-ah,â said Hank. âDonât be silly.â
âSilly? SILLY?â
âLet me ask you one last question before you make your decision. If you still believe that an early death is your best option then I shall not stand in your way.â He took another bite of his sandwich as Tony put his foot back on the ledge. He was mildly pleased to do so.
âGood choice,â said Hank. âSo. My question to you is: what do you think will happen when your head splatters against the tarmac?â
âWellâŠIâll die.â
âBravo, Captain Obvious. Beyond that.â
âIâŠI donât know. Heaven, I suppose. I think Iâve been a good person.â
âCatholics believe suicide is a sin, you know.â
âIâm Anglican.â
âBut what if the Catholics are right?â
âThenâŠIâll go to Hell.â
âUh-huh. And your family. What will happen to them?â
âTheyâŠyouâŠwhat the hell are you doing?â Tears started to stream down Tonyâs face.
âIâm trying to save your life. What will your family do?â
âTheyâllâŠbe better. Better off without me.â
âAnd Iâm sure youâve convinced yourself of that. But it seems to me that youâre making a lot of leaps of faith before you take your very literal leap of faith.
âIâŠstop screwing with me!â
âIâm not screwing with you. Iâm just telling you the truth. This is whatâll happen to your family. Theyâll be devastated. Your wife will be sucked so hard into the black hole of depression that she may never be able to crawl her way out of it. Your children will be taken into care, forced to grow up with people who will never understand their suffering. Theyâll forever resent their father for being a selfish son of a bitch whoâd rather take his own life than clean up his act and sort his life out. Your son will grow up to be a carbon copy of you. In the space of thirty storeys, you can corrupt him. And you? Well, youâll just be lying in a hole in the ground with your face rotting off and being eaten from the inside out by bugs smaller than a pinhead, never able to accomplish any of the great things that a man can do with his short time on Earth.
âBut if that all sounds better to you, then feel free to jump.â
Tony didnât say anything, but whimpered softly. He lifted his left foot, but brought it behind his body, not in front. He stepped onto the roof and fell to his backside, crying so hard Hank thought his eyes might fall out. Hank swung his legs back from the ledge and went over to Tony. He crouched down to his level.
âItâll be alright, I promise. Youâre a good man with a great family. Like jam, youâre good alone. But youâre much better when youâre surrounded by the bread of love. Oh my, Iâm so sorry for that truly dreadful metaphor. Flowery language has never been my strongest suit. But you get the gist.â
âWhâŠwhâŠwhoâŠwhatâŠ?â
âYou donât need the answer to that question. Here,â Hank put the bag containing the sandwiches on the ground. Heâd eaten one of the triangles, but the other was still there. âGoodbye.â
Hank left Tonyâs life forever.